what day is it and did you see me today?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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