There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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