Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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