You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
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