that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
