he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Holy shit dude........stairs
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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