the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize