Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
