I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
