dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
