We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize