Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
