At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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