Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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