Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
