so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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