These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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