well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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