Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
