So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
