i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
