i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
