I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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