How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
