I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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