I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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