Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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