I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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