Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
