Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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