My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just googled if crying burns calories
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize