I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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