I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
