i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
