I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
