So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
