I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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