whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
