Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
