She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
