i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize