party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
