So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
