Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
