Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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