maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
