So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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