I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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