hotel room ftw
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
