i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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