My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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