my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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