Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
