And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
