I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
