It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
