Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
