whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
