that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize